Those Things Lawyers Have Said in Court

And when you returned, were you no longer gone?

'Til Death

   

PLOT TWIST: She says "Mine" and then disappears in a puff of smoke!

Face Mask

Turns out it was ANOTHER mask! Classic Scooby-Doo villain. 

 

Murder Investigations

And have you written speeding tickets for, say, people who were going over the speed limit? 

Define "Present"

I know you were in court, but where were you present emotionally?

Biology Lesson

Looks like he skipped that day in Health class. 

Down Stairs

It's a fair question to ask if you've ever played Super Mario 64.

Memory Problems

WITNESS:  "Hopefully this conversation someday, am I right?"    

Who do you think? CAN you think? 

Left Behind

Maybe he was questioning Dr. Manhattan? 

Collision Distance

If it's anything more than zero feet, COURT ADJOURNED!    

Lumber

If this lawyer falls in a forest and nobody is around, does he still ask weird questions? 

French Canadian

Since birth. Do you want to know how long I've had my birthday? 

Autopsy Report

Doctor by day, Comedy Roast Master by night.